dearCelisse

Thanks for the song arjay!!! I love you!

KALAPANA

Here comes the night
Once again
I'll be feeling lonely
Oh, if only things could work out like you plan
Where can love be
Tell me why it's so hard to find somebody
Who will stand by me
And take the time to understand
And show me love again

I want the real thing
Or nothing at all
I need someone that I can be sure will catch me
If I should fall
Someone who'll be there when I call
Then I'll know that it's the real thing
I want the real thing
To warm me each night
Someone to love me over and over
Making the future bright
Someone who'll be there when I call
Just give me the real thing

Where is the moon?
Won't it smile
On just one more dreamer
Let your beams come down
And fill my empty room
Here comes the night
But if there's still a chance
That love can find me
I'll be here
Crossing my fingers

I want to know for sure
That I can feel secure
Knowing I've found an everlasting love
And once I get that under control
Then I won't let go

I promise. this will be the last i’ll keep this bitterness mode public. I will be ok. A new year is coming. I’ll find my prince. Maybe not next year. But I’ll patiently wait. Every boy wants to be a girl’s first, every girl wants to be the boy’s last. When I find him, I hope I will be the last girl he will love and he will be mine. I hope the next boy will stay with me forever. Keep his promises and won’t ever let me go.. Whoever you are or wherever you are right now.. I love you. Please find your way to me..

Last song.. I promise.. I will get over you, Chris. Give me a few. I can do this and everyone will be happy.. Good luck. I wish you all the best.. I’m here if you need help… as a friend.. I love you my buddy.. Bye..

UNTIL I GET OVER YOU (Christina Millan)

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

[Chorus]
The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be,
’til I get over you

[Verse 2]
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

[Bridge]
When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go

Pano ba yan.. Dapat lagi akong maganda ngayon..

Though I’m not looking. I’m not interested in replacing him just to move on. I don’t need a rebound.. I’m not like other people na hindi kayang nababakante. Dapat laging may kapalit.. I can be independent. That’s how I was before him. Boys were just toys.. Everything changed after.

I’ll just focus on my studies (which I should have done 3 years ago.) Naside-track ako eh. Lang’ya kasi itong puso ko: nagpadistract.. Madali kasing maniwala.. Well, I WAS happy. I just never thought it would end this FAST and this EASY. I never thought ganito pala ako kabilis palita.. Well, matagal ko naman na sinasabi sa kanya yun eh.. “I know you can replace me with just a snap.” But he promised FOREVER. Naniwala tuloy.. Gosh, I’m so NAIVE. Masyado akong madaling magpapaniwala. I should have never tired to give back the trust. Mas masakit pala pag sinubukan mong ibalik tapos isasampal lang sa’yo noh? grabe.. 

At least I have a future. It’s up to me na lang to make it happen..

Remember this song? It was ours.. Nacomplete na din yung meaning.. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan yung real meaning ng song..

I love you. But I have to force myself to stop doing so. You don’t need or even want me anymore.. But I’ll still be here for you.. always and forever..

EXACTLY 3 YEARS FROM THE TIME WE MET… THEY WERE RIGHT..

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you’d be around
Uh huh
That’s right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That’s right

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them up
Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I’d give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they’re long gone
I guess I just didn’t know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I’ll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won’t forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong and

That last kiss
I’ll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew

My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

Sorry. just had to let this out.. if anyone gets mad, bahala kayo. this is what i feel. may magagawa ba kayo? at alam kong naagaw ka.. kahit ano pang explanation sabihin nyo. dahil yun ang lumabas.. Kaya lang naman nawala feelings niya sakin kasi may nagpaparamdam na iba eh.. At nagustuhan naman ng taong madaling impluwensyahan.. You played with my feelings.. oh YES you DID.. don’t deny it.. You made me believe a lie..

DON’T MESS WITH MY LOVE (M2M, year 2000)

I thought you were a friend of mine but I was wrong
You tried to fit into the arms where I belong
You moved right in behind my back
Everyone knows friends don’t do that

I thought you were somebody I could trust
You always said you were happy for us
How could you go and break my heart?
When you knew all along he was mine from the start

He is everything to me
And you know we’re meant to be
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my
Mess with my love
Don’t mess with my love

You came right over and looked in my eyes
You said the stories were rumors and lies
And I wish I could believe in you
But I’m sorry to say he told me the truth

He is everything to me
And you know we’re meant to be
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my
Mess with my love
Don’t mess with my love

[BRIDGE]
Friends don’t do what you do
There’s no excuse
I’m so confused
I thought you cared about me
But now I see
All you care about is you

He is everything to me
And you know we’re meant to be
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my
Mess with my love
Don’t mess with my love

Haaayy. WHO AM I KIDDING?! I don’t hate him. I CAN’T hate him. I just wish he’s just as concerned with me as with her. It just pains me to see him give her everything he used to give me. From his looks and stares to his hugs.. Sigh, thing will NEVER BE THE SAME again… It’s just so sad.. I thought we had a chance. but after this, nothing can get us back together again.. such a pity.

Yes, this is what I get for letting my heart win.. Katangahan!!! It just broke.. NO, shattered is more like it.. And left to rot. They don’t care. They’re happy. so what the hell? Ok lang mawala ako. basta magkasama sila..

No sir, well I don’t wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It’s your turn, to take a seat we’re settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt, so much?

I can’t decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why?
All the possibilities…
Well I was wrong

That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!
That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa…
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you’re not here.
‘Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try… holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Oh why? All the possibilities. I’m sure you’ve heard.

That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!
That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa..
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.

Pain, make your way to me. (to me)
And I’ll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let’s start… Start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?

That’s what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa.

That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

I can’t trust myself with anything but this,
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

Ooh, no Yeah, yeah She’s got green eyes and she’s 5′5″

Long brown hair all down her back Cadillac truck so the hell what is so special about that

She used to model, she’s done some acting So she weighs a buck o 5

And I guess that she’s alright if perfection’s what you like

Ooh, ooh, and I’m not jealous, no I’m not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she’s got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

Tell me what makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy. Because I can remember when it was me.

And now you don’t feel the same

I remember you would shiver every time I said your name

You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes

Now you don’t care I’m alive How did we let the fire die

Ooh, ooh, and I’m not jealous, no I’m not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she’s got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

Ohh, What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can remember when it was me

That made you smile (me)

That made you laugh

Me that makes you happier than you have ever been, oh me

That was your world (me)

Your perfect girl

Nothing about me has changed That’s why I’m here wondering

What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can’t remember when it was me

What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can’t remember when it was me When it was me When it was me When it was me

Hey you?! Happiness? I’m knocking on your door! Open up!

Balance. I’m both happy and sad.

Sad ’cause of all the crap that’s happened to me this year. I got really sick, I had personal probelms and I DO MEAN personal problems of all sort. It’s like, everything just hit me at the same time. I could no longer stand.

I thank God for giving me my christmas wish. The pain lessened. I kept thinking about the things I’ve been thinking all these days. There’s always one person in it.. and everyone knows who that is. Thank God I”m no longer crying every minute.. just when I stare blankly into deep space. my tears just automatically drop out of my eyes. even without thinking. I think this is better. I hope next year i will no longer cry for him.

I’ve hurt a lot of people and a lot have hurt me as well. But this is the most serious depression I’ve ever been in. He said he knows I’m strong. But what he doesn’t know it that, he’s my weakness. I can be strong when it comes to everything else. but not to him. God, if only he knew.. If only he’d seen everything I’ve done to make him realize. But he was blind. And I was stupid. Stupid to think that he’s as strong as I am in waiting. Too naive to think that maybe THIS time, he would finally keep his promise. I guess every promise made was just as a lie as the others. It pains me to think that I was never enough. I’m just like the other 7. I’m no different. No! I’m worse. He NEVER cheated on them. And he lied to me twice. he looked for someone else. twice. I guess that sums it up. I was NEVER ENOUGH. The only thing keeping me from being neurotic is my promise to him. That I will try to be happy for him, to move on and to take care of myself.

I now understand that I have to leave him behind. He let go of me. He wants to be left behind. He no longer wants to be in my future. He just hitched the ride and decided to go on a different direction. Someone else’s direction. I guess he didn’t like my ride and hers is better for him.

But life has to move on. I guess he was just my training level. And so was I to him. So that he’ll never make the mistakes he made with me to his new love. Lucky her.

And God wants me to be ready for that someone I’m going to be happy with. someone who will love me for me and because his love is unconditional. Someone who will be loyal, will never cheat or lie to me. Someone with good future, who will provide for us, responsible and a perfect family man.

For now, God is just training me to be deserving for him. 

WHEN WE FINALLY FIND EACH OTHER, I WILL NEVER LET GO OF YOU..

Till then, I will patiently await your arrival.. my prince.

I clarified everything today with the both of them. Denise was with me. It hurt me to see the way he looked at her. It was the same way he looked at me. I couldn’t stand being with just the two of them so I usually would just roam around and play with the dog, or talk to his mom or his brother. I just gave them privacy so they could do whatever they want with each other.

Everything that happened before was all wrong. He admitted it. But looks like he got away with it. (no offense) I can get mad at him, but not for too long. I can get mad, but no matter how much he hurt me like this, it’s such a wonder why i can’t hate him. And after all the pain he’d cost me, I still ended up being ok with him.

When I was about to go home, i felt that things have changed. I gave him a one last big hug. Before, I would just hug him whenever I wanted to, now, I had to ask my friend if I could. He still smelled the same. The same scent that I love, the scent that I keep remembering even though he’s nowhere near me. He used to “shower” himself with that perfume because he knew I loved it. I guess my friend likes it as well because he still wearing the same perfume.

I also found out he didn’t change his phone password. It was still the same, and it still had my picture in there. The others were deleted though. To him: sorry, i was just curious. And don’t worry, it won’t stop me from getting over. I was just glad that you kept it. Really, I appreciated that cause I guess it means you still remember me. At least in that little way, I can stay you still cared as a friend and for the years we shared. Thank you.

So here I am, alone. I can’t say I’m ok now. It still hurts, but seeing them happy.. I just had to walk away. He told me, if I really do still love him, I will just move on and take care of myself. It’s true. I still do love him. So that’s what I’m going to do. I would do anything he asks me to.

Someday, I will get over this. Hopefully, next year will be better.

THANK YOU DENISE! THANK YOU BESTY! Sobrang I love you! Thanks dahil sinamahan mo ako and for the unending comfort.

It’s christmas. The best christmas gift is FORGIVENESS.