Bonding with mom…
I got to bond with my mom these past few days. It started two days ago. We went shopping a trinoma. I was so excited to buy some clothes since I just got my christmas presents.. MONEY! I just got about 2,000 but hey, I’m willing to use all my savings.. 
I was very KURIPOT before. Now I realized, because of that, I deprived myself from looking really great. I was so focused on saving money for a rainy day that I forgot to take care of myself. This whole year, I looked like crap! ‘m 20 for crying out loud and I’m starting to look 25! I’m not even working yet. Tapos, I have my braces pa… Nerd much?! Hmm, maybe one of the reasons why he left me. Well, maybe not the reason, but it added up. hahaha. So here I am now, buying everything I want to buy.
This is my therapy. I couldn’t have the boy I want. It makes me feel good that I can actually get the other stuff that I want. Honestly, these past few days, I’ve lost my self-esteem. I’m not even in the mood for singing nowadays. I keep asking myself, am I really THAT HORRIBLE? I mean, for someone just to drop me like that and for someone to just easily look for someone else? Am I really that bad?
Today, I haven’t sung a single note. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This is not just drama. I just don’t feel like singing anymore. I tried once but it just doesn’t seem right. I suddenly had this urge to stop. I want to sing but at the same time, I wanted to stop subconsciously. Stupid eh? I don’t know why I’m being like this. It’s like something inside me is pulling me back from being happy. I figured, I guess my mind’s just scared of being happy. ‘Cause every time I’m almost sure that that happiness is going to last longer… when I’m almost at the top, something pulls me down and says, “Wake up sister! Stop dreaming. That’ll never happen!” Really! Just when I’ve finally told myself. “Yep, I think I’m finally going to be happy.” I don’t. It’s like fate is just making me taste happiness and not fully give it to me.
Anyway, enough of me drama!
Sooooo, I used up all my christmas money on shopping. Hehe. But was still not contented. The next day, we went to Mall of Asia. We took my brother and my cousin to go biking. Then went to the dinosaurs live! Hehe. We played drums for like an hour. Yep! We hogged the machine. haha. Even my mom and dad had fun playing with it so we took turns.
I’m glad I had fun with my family. It’s been a while since we had a family bonding aside from watching dvd’s at home.
Today, I went to the gym with my mom. I tried Fitness First and did some exercise. Yeah, yeah! I know I’m already too skinny to work-out. But I need to be healthy.. I feel like I’m going to have problems with my heart. Literally. I get tired really fast, even with just going up the stairs. I figured, from this day forward, I’m going to use our “threadmill” to exercise. It’s good for the heart. Also for my muscles. teehee.. Para naman hindi ako lampa-lampa. I’m gonna bring back my high school bod. So anyway, I finished one whole movie while using all their machines.. I had to stop for a few minutes then back again, while my mom was non-stop. She really is that determined to become thinner.. Well, she did lose a great deal of weight. It’s already showing. Good for her! When my mom was thinner and younger, she was a GODDESS. Really beautiful.. I wish I was more like her. Not that I don’t like how I am right now, it’s just that, she’s.. well.. better.. Afterwards, we took a shower and used the sauna. It was great inside. really misty and HOT. hahaha.. It made my skin really smooth..
I liked my stay there at Fitness First. What can you say? It’s platinum.. haha. I can’t afford that.. I’m just a student.. This is the only time I can go there. There won’t be a next time ’cause it’s not allowed. hahaha
My mom went to OBAGI’s after. She was only supposed to look and ask around. But I guess the 15% off changed her mind. haha. She booked an appointment with the dermatologist at 1pm. We ate at Jollibee first because I haven’t eaten all day. Mom have this promo with her BPI credit card and we got free food.. with one receipt of Php 3,000, you can get a FREE 2pcs chickenjoy. Yay! so that’s what we ate. She got a burger though..
I waited for her for like FOUR HOURS. I finished the whole Notting Hill movie for the second time. Well, the second one was only half done.. I liked it. I liked the words “Anna Scott” said..
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy. Asking him to lover her.”
That was sooooo sweet… I will never forget those lines…
So there. We went home afterwards.. It wasn’t much, but I got to spend time with my mother. I want to share stuff with her. But I’m afraid she might not want to listen or she would look at it in a different perspective. I’m scared she might not understand or trust my decisions when I ask for her advice.. But it’s worth a try. I hope someday, I can tell her anything under the sun.. After all, I am growing up. I’m no longer a teenager. I am not an adult.. I hope things will go well.
Thank you God for this opportunity. I love you!
