Reminder:

January 2nd, 2009 by celisse
This is MY blog. MY diary, MY thoughts, My point of view.

I won’t force you to agree with me or believe everything i write in here.
Just to make this clear with everyone, whatever you read in here, it’s up to you to interpret. I’m just saying what I feel and what I think. We all know we have thefreedom to do that.
If you don’t like what you see, then don’t read. okie? :D
Bahala na kayo kung paano ang pagkakaintindi ninyo sa mga sinusulat ko..
Thank you. have a pleasant day! :)

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Happy New Year!

January 1st, 2009 by celisse

YAY! It’s a new year!

New year, new life, new friends, new experiences coming my way..

I’m sooo glad 2008 is over.. at least now i can say i can start changing.. start over again. leave all the crappiness behind..

CELISSE! That’s my name… don’t know what it means really but.. hehe i don’t care. it’s one of the most unique name in the world and im lovin it.. :D

I’ve got a bright future.. i won’t waste it mourning over the past… it’s all garbage now.. useless and filthy..

Time to get a new and better life. better environment and perspectives..

Though I willlearn from the past.. wouldn’t want to be stupid to let it happen again would I. *teehee*

For all my friends who stood by me, thank you soooo much. you were there when i needed you… you were with me the whole year round… through thick and thin.. thanks for having my back..  Friends forever! Same goes to SO-SU and my FFBs.. hahaha..

BESTY! wala lang.. hehe alam mo na yun.. love you girl!

DYAN, see you in med school, miss you sis!

JANN: thanks for listening. don’t worry.. I still do love you.. *hugs*

AYIE: grabe, ang tagal na natin hindi nagkikita, nararamdaman pa rin kita.. haha thanks for all the support! Di ka pa rin nagbabago.. Kita tayo ulit minsan! :D

TWIN, a.k.a. ARJAY: haha, i love you pare! kamusta naman si *tooot*? haha kidding.. nahihiya na tuloy ako.. feeling ko matagal na niyang alam.. hahaha

ALINE & DRIA: babes, ahaha. thanks sa balikat.. at sa hugs.. same goes for ELLA

NOELEE: haha. wag masyado matary. kaya ko na ipagtanggol sarili ko.. tapos na ang everyday crying ko kasama ka.. sa wakas makakaraos ka ng isang araw ng hindi mo na ako nakikita umiiyak. sorry ah. thanks din at tiniis mo yun. pati kay DAISY, KIM at GEISHA!

MIGS: oo, ikaw fernando! hindi na ako iiyak promise! kung iiyak man ako, hindi na ako magpapakita sa’yo.. natakot ako sa’yo eh. hahaha. :D

Grabe, ang dami kong gusto pasalamatan kaya lang baka hindi ako matapos..

Basta.. HAPPY NEW YEAR na lang..

To my INSIGNIS: THIS IS OUR YEAR! 2009: 100% number ONE!!!

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from arjay..:D

December 31st, 2008 by celisse

Thanks for the song arjay!!! I love you!

KALAPANA

Here comes the night
Once again
I'll be feeling lonely
Oh, if only things could work out like you plan
Where can love be
Tell me why it's so hard to find somebody
Who will stand by me
And take the time to understand
And show me love again

I want the real thing
Or nothing at all
I need someone that I can be sure will catch me
If I should fall
Someone who'll be there when I call
Then I'll know that it's the real thing
I want the real thing
To warm me each night
Someone to love me over and over
Making the future bright
Someone who'll be there when I call
Just give me the real thing

Where is the moon?
Won't it smile
On just one more dreamer
Let your beams come down
And fill my empty room
Here comes the night
But if there's still a chance
That love can find me
I'll be here
Crossing my fingers

I want to know for sure
That I can feel secure
Knowing I've found an everlasting love
And once I get that under control
Then I won't let go

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This will be the last

December 31st, 2008 by celisse

I promise. this will be the last i’ll keep this bitterness mode public. I will be ok. A new year is coming. I’ll find my prince. Maybe not next year. But I’ll patiently wait. Every boy wants to be a girl’s first, every girl wants to be the boy’s last. When I find him, I hope I will be the last girl he will love and he will be mine. I hope the next boy will stay with me forever. Keep his promises and won’t ever let me go.. Whoever you are or wherever you are right now.. I love you. Please find your way to me..

Last song.. I promise.. I will get over you, Chris. Give me a few. I can do this and everyone will be happy.. Good luck. I wish you all the best.. I’m here if you need help… as a friend.. I love you my buddy.. :) Bye..

UNTIL I GET OVER YOU (Christina Millan)

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

[Chorus]
The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be,
’til I get over you

[Verse 2]
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

[Bridge]
When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go

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Bonding with mom…

December 30th, 2008 by celisse

I got to bond with my mom these past few days. It started two days ago. We went shopping a trinoma. I was so excited to buy some clothes since I just got my christmas presents.. MONEY! I just got about 2,000 but hey, I’m willing to use all my savings.. :D I was very KURIPOT before. Now I realized, because of that, I deprived myself from looking really great. I was so focused on saving money for a rainy day that I forgot to take care of myself. This whole year, I looked like crap! ‘m 20 for crying out loud and I’m starting to look 25! I’m not even working yet. Tapos, I have my braces pa… Nerd much?! Hmm, maybe one of the reasons why he left me. Well, maybe not the reason, but it added up. hahaha. :D So here I am now, buying everything I want to buy. 

This is my therapy. I couldn’t have the boy I want. It makes me feel good that I can actually get the other stuff that I want. Honestly, these past few days, I’ve lost my self-esteem. I’m not even in the mood for singing nowadays. I keep asking myself, am I really THAT HORRIBLE? I mean, for someone just to drop me like that and for someone to just easily look for someone else? Am I really that bad?

Today, I haven’t sung a single note. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This is not just drama. I just don’t feel like singing anymore. I tried once but it just doesn’t seem right. I suddenly had this urge to stop. I want to sing but at the same time, I wanted to stop subconsciously. Stupid eh? I don’t know why I’m being like this. It’s like something inside me is pulling me back from being happy. I figured, I guess my mind’s just scared of being happy. ‘Cause every time I’m almost sure that that happiness is going to last longer… when I’m almost at the top, something pulls me down and says, “Wake up sister! Stop dreaming. That’ll never happen!” Really! Just when I’ve finally told myself. “Yep, I think I’m finally going to be happy.” I don’t. It’s like fate is just making me taste happiness and not fully give it to me.

Anyway, enough of me drama!

Sooooo, I used up all my christmas money on shopping. Hehe. But was still not contented. The next day, we went to Mall of Asia. We took my brother and my cousin to go biking. Then went to the dinosaurs live! Hehe. We played drums for like an hour. Yep! We hogged the machine. haha. Even my mom and dad had fun playing with it so we took turns. :D
I’m glad I had fun with my family. It’s been a while since we had a family bonding aside from watching dvd’s at home.

Today, I went to the gym with my mom. I tried Fitness First and did some exercise. Yeah, yeah! I know I’m already too skinny to work-out. But I need to be healthy.. I feel like I’m going to have problems with my heart. Literally. I get tired really fast, even with just going up the stairs. I figured, from this day forward, I’m going to use our “threadmill” to exercise. It’s good for the heart. Also for my muscles. teehee.. :D Para naman hindi ako lampa-lampa. I’m gonna bring back my high school bod. So anyway, I finished one whole movie while using all their machines.. I had to stop for a few minutes then back again, while my mom was non-stop. She really is that determined to become thinner.. Well, she did lose a great deal of weight. It’s already showing. :D Good for her! When my mom was thinner and younger, she was a GODDESS. Really beautiful.. I wish I was more like her. Not that I don’t like how I am right now, it’s just that, she’s.. well.. better.. Afterwards, we took a shower and used the sauna. It was great inside. really misty and HOT. hahaha.. It made my skin really smooth..

I liked my stay there at Fitness First. What can you say? It’s platinum.. haha. I can’t afford that.. I’m just a student.. This is the only time I can go there. There won’t be a next time ’cause it’s not allowed. hahaha

My mom went to OBAGI’s after. She was only supposed to look and ask around. But I guess the 15% off changed her mind. haha. She booked an appointment with the dermatologist at 1pm. We ate at Jollibee first because I haven’t eaten all day. Mom have this promo with her BPI credit card and we got free food.. with one receipt of Php 3,000, you can get a FREE 2pcs chickenjoy. Yay! so that’s what we ate. She got a burger though..

I waited for her for like FOUR HOURS. I finished the whole Notting Hill movie for the second time. Well, the second one was only half done.. I liked it. I liked the words “Anna Scott” said..

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy. Asking him to lover her.”

That was sooooo sweet… :D I will never forget those lines…

So there. We went home afterwards.. :D It wasn’t much, but I got to spend time with my mother. I want to share stuff with her. But I’m afraid she might not want to listen or she would look at it in a different perspective. I’m scared she might not understand or trust my decisions when I ask for her advice.. But it’s worth a try. I hope someday, I can tell her anything under the sun.. After all, I am growing up. I’m no longer a teenager. I am not an adult.. I hope things will go well.

Thank you God for this opportunity. I love you! :D

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Who knew? I didn’t…

December 28th, 2008 by celisse

Pano ba yan.. Dapat lagi akong maganda ngayon..

Though I’m not looking. I’m not interested in replacing him just to move on. I don’t need a rebound.. I’m not like other people na hindi kayang nababakante. Dapat laging may kapalit.. I can be independent. That’s how I was before him. Boys were just toys.. Everything changed after.

I’ll just focus on my studies (which I should have done 3 years ago.) Naside-track ako eh. Lang’ya kasi itong puso ko: nagpadistract.. Madali kasing maniwala.. Well, I WAS happy. I just never thought it would end this FAST and this EASY. I never thought ganito pala ako kabilis palita.. Well, matagal ko naman na sinasabi sa kanya yun eh.. “I know you can replace me with just a snap.” But he promised FOREVER. Naniwala tuloy.. Gosh, I’m so NAIVE. Masyado akong madaling magpapaniwala. I should have never tired to give back the trust. Mas masakit pala pag sinubukan mong ibalik tapos isasampal lang sa’yo noh? grabe.. 

At least I have a future. It’s up to me na lang to make it happen..

Remember this song? It was ours.. Nacomplete na din yung meaning.. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan yung real meaning ng song..

I love you. But I have to force myself to stop doing so. You don’t need or even want me anymore.. But I’ll still be here for you.. always and forever..

EXACTLY 3 YEARS FROM THE TIME WE MET… THEY WERE RIGHT..

 

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you’d be around
Uh huh
That’s right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That’s right

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them up
Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I’d give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they’re long gone
I guess I just didn’t know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I’ll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won’t forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong and

That last kiss
I’ll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew

My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

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Bitter mode..

December 28th, 2008 by celisse

Sorry. just had to let this out.. if anyone gets mad, bahala kayo. this is what i feel. may magagawa ba kayo? at alam kong naagaw ka.. kahit ano pang explanation sabihin nyo. dahil yun ang lumabas.. Kaya lang naman nawala feelings niya sakin kasi may nagpaparamdam na iba eh.. At nagustuhan naman ng taong madaling impluwensyahan.. You played with my feelings.. oh YES you DID.. don’t deny it.. You made me believe a lie..

Held back? She was FREQUENTLY going to your house. Kayong dalawa lang magkasama, God knows what you’re doing. And I didn’t know about this.. How do you explain that? You said she’s always there for you? Kasi siya lang nilalapitan mo. You never asked me for help. I CAN be there for you. I can give you MORE than she can. (Except for one thing and you know why. I’m saving it. Ok, ONE thing that MAYBE she can give you that I can’t. But everything else, I can.) bahala na si God. Next time I get a boyfriend, wala nang pakila-kilala. baka maagaw nanaman pag nagkaproblema ulit.. baka hindi nanaman malagpasan ang problema. Instead na maayos, may makakuha pang iba… SA’KIN LANG YUN! And next time, I’ll make sure his love is pure and true.. Hindi lang superficial.. And when I SAY I’m SURE na ako lang, yung totoo na. hindi yung naniniwala pala ako sa lie.. Para naman hindi ako mapahiya sa mga kaibigan ko. Siguradong-sigurado pa naman ako tapos mali naman pala.. So they were right.. Binalaan na nila ako eh. hindi ako nakinig. masyado kasing makulit ito (pointing to heart): nagmamagaling, tanga naman pala.. Tapos ayun, napalitan na ako sa barkada. They’re more interested with making him happy than me… Hay naku, next time talaga, isang pakilala lang (just ’cause they’re my barkada), hindi ko na pasasamahin sa lakad ko. lalung-lalo na pag wala ako. kaya nga nagkaganito kasi lagi akong wala. Laging siya ang kasama.. aking akin lang yung magiging next bf ko.. call me selfish pero naniniguro lang… AYAW ko na maulit noh.. ang SAKIT eh.. sobra. Baka next time mangyari yun, mamatay na ako ng literal (wag naman sana).. Haaayyyy, lalong lumalala sakit ko nito eh.. malnourished na tuloy ako.. hahaha…promise! hindi ako nagdadrama.. 

DON’T MESS WITH MY LOVE (M2M, year 2000)

I thought you were a friend of mine but I was wrong
You tried to fit into the arms where I belong
You moved right in behind my back
Everyone knows friends don’t do that

I thought you were somebody I could trust
You always said you were happy for us
How could you go and break my heart?
When you knew all along he was mine from the start

He is everything to me
And you know we’re meant to be
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my
Mess with my love
Don’t mess with my love

You came right over and looked in my eyes
You said the stories were rumors and lies
And I wish I could believe in you
But I’m sorry to say he told me the truth

He is everything to me
And you know we’re meant to be
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my
Mess with my love
Don’t mess with my love

[BRIDGE]
Friends don’t do what you do
There’s no excuse
I’m so confused
I thought you cared about me
But now I see
All you care about is you

He is everything to me
And you know we’re meant to be
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He’s my baby
Don’t mess with my
Mess with my love
Don’t mess with my love

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My heart - who am i kidding?

December 27th, 2008 by celisse

Haaayy. WHO AM I KIDDING?! I don’t hate him. I CAN’T hate him. I just wish he’s just as concerned with me as with her. It just pains me to see him give her everything he used to give me. From his looks and stares to his hugs.. Sigh, thing will NEVER BE THE SAME again… It’s just so sad.. I thought we had a chance. but after this, nothing can get us back together again.. such a pity.

 

 am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I’ve fallen down and I can’t do this alone

Stay with me,
This is what I need,
Please.

[Refrain:]
Sing us a song and we’ll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it’s been so long
Since I’ve heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

[Repeat Refrain]

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (2x)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (It beats, beats for only you)
My heart is yours (My heart is yours)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away)

(Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away) My heart is yours
(Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away) My heart is yours
(Please don’t go, please don’t fade away) 
(Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away) My heart is…

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THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!!!

December 27th, 2008 by celisse

Yes, this is what I get for letting my heart win.. Katangahan!!! It just broke.. NO, shattered is more like it.. And left to rot. They don’t care. They’re happy. so what the hell? Ok lang mawala ako. basta magkasama sila..

 

No sir, well I don’t wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It’s your turn, to take a seat we’re settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt, so much?

I can’t decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why?
All the possibilities…
Well I was wrong

That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!
That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa…
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you’re not here.
‘Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try… holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Oh why? All the possibilities. I’m sure you’ve heard.

That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!
That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa..
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.

Pain, make your way to me. (to me)
And I’ll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let’s start… Start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?

That’s what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa.

That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

I can’t trust myself with anything but this,
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

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When it was me..

December 27th, 2008 by celisse

Ooh, no Yeah, yeah She’s got green eyes and she’s 5′5″

Long brown hair all down her back Cadillac truck so the hell what is so special about that

She used to model, she’s done some acting So she weighs a buck o 5

And I guess that she’s alright if perfection’s what you like

 

Ooh, ooh, and I’m not jealous, no I’m not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she’s got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

Tell me what makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy. Because I can remember when it was me.

And now you don’t feel the same

I remember you would shiver every time I said your name

You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes

Now you don’t care I’m alive How did we let the fire die

 

Ooh, ooh, and I’m not jealous, no I’m not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she’s got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

Ohh, What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can remember when it was me

That made you smile (me)

That made you laugh

Me that makes you happier than you have ever been, oh me

That was your world (me)

Your perfect girl

Nothing about me has changed That’s why I’m here wondering

 

What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can’t remember when it was me

What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be (I can never be) What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can’t remember when it was me When it was me When it was me When it was me

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